and your name shall be...

if i had a cat i would name it Bowie. (like david bowie? you may ask. no.)
if i had a rabbit i would name it Squirrel. (even though it's not a squirrel at all. HA.)
if i had a pug i would name it Assface. (get it.. because his face is dumb and flat? whatever.. it's funny.)
if i had a bird i would name it Lawrence. (classy.. like a bird.)
if i had a lizard i would name it Lord Reptile. (the Reptile God seemed disrespectful? eh.)
if i had a lama i would name it The Doctor. (like Dr. Who.. the greatest show i've ever seen with my eyes.)
if i had a robot i would name it Iron Giant. (well duh.)
if i had a sloth i would name it Gregory. (Is that okay, [my] Emily?)
if i had a hedgehog i would name it Pony Boy. (after my favorite [fictional] boy.)
if i had an otter i would name it Arwen. (Lord of the Rings.. obviously.)
if i had a tiger i would name it Charlie. (The Perks of Being a Wallflower. my favorite book.. isn't it everyones?)