the day vs me.

   today i was confronted by a boy with a ring he received from seminary. and before i had time to process anything he gives me the ring as he says, "My friends told me you should have this." and he walks away rather rapidly. i am pretty sure it was to avoid confrontation with me but let me tell you i didnt know what to think after i was given this ring with the word trust on it and a verse from the bible. now looking back on the situation i know that if i was thinking right, which i was glad i wasnt, i would of hit him in the face. but all i could see was red then all i could feel was my face heating but and my eyes beginning to water. but i was NOT about to let myself cry especially not in front of people but i mean lets face it, that is all i wanted to do. 
   all of my emotions hit me at once. first i was so confused then i was full of blinding anger. but then i felt like i just needed someone to cry on and realized that i didnt know where to go to at that point. in that split second i had all these names running through my head but i didnt want any of them to see me cry that just isnt who i am, i dont like to show my weakness. and it made me wonder if i am really that afraid to let people see my emotions and know what i have been through or if i just need to put myself out there so people know all that there is to know about me.. i feel a little confused and deranged at the moment and just cant really focus on anything except feeling like i need to be doing something. i need to find something or somebody so i have someone to talk to when i just need a friend. and i feel like i have those people but what if it doesnt work and they dont accept who i am. 
   but i also feel as though me and long lasting friendships dont work. i had one for a while and it was perfect, well it had its flaws but what friendship doesnt. but then i blew up in my face and i had to start again from nothing. and i just need to find some ground or something solid to pull myself back up with and maybe just maybe i can feel like i am at ease and at peace and at home because i want that feeling back.. 


CALM, HAPPY, READY,
madeline louise


p.s. sorry for the dr. phil blog post.

stalking.

When you're happy, I'll be thereWaiting for you to laugh
Waiting for me to have
When you're happy, I'll be whereWaiting for you to smile
Waiting for you, love

When you're sad, I'll still be there
Waiting for you to cry
Waiting for you to pass by

When you're sad, I'll still be fair
Waiting for you to smile
Waiting for you, love

When you're angry, I'll always be there
Waiting for you to scowl
Waiting for you to howl

When you're angry, I'll always be where
Waiting for you to smile
Waiting for you, love

When you feel anything, I'll be there
Because I am your stalker.

stalking.
i will say that me and my friends, whom i adore are rather good at it.
we know the ways and normal hang outs of all of our targets and tend to pass them frequently.
now if you do not know who we are then you are reading this post and have a very concerned look on your face and we mean no harm neither do we inflict harm on our targets; wow i really need another word besides target.. that makes it sound like they are on our hit list or something, which we dont have.
anyways back to my previous topic. i am slightly unaware of why i am telling you all this.
but i think i message i am going for is just to let my, stalking, buddies know that they are greatly appreciated in my life, you know who you are!


THANK YOU,
madeline louise


p.s. one of our operations has been blown.. if you have any tips on how to better improve our stalking abilities please we would love to hear your ideas :)

homecoming.

today is homecoming and i am going with my very best friend daniel. i am rather excited.
for our date we are going to an art museum then we are going to dinner up in salt lake.. then later that night we are going to party it up!  :)


BOOM BOOM,
madeline louise 

male specimans.

oh how i adore the male species but sometime they are stupid. 
sometimes i think life would be easier if i were a lesbian; it might just solve my problems.
but oh how i would miss men and all the attractiveness they have to offer.
so me becoming a lesbian is never going to be an option. sorry ladies! :) 


ODE TO THE DAYS,
madeline louise.

me.

oh today.

today was an unique day.

it was a good day.

but it was a bad day as well.

here is how it went down:

it started out fine.

until i hit my friends (joshua) broken toe in the hall with my foot.

i felt really bad.

then i went to math which was well.. just another day in math.

used a shortcut on my way to journalism that let me avoid the birth canal.. thank god.

then i got to journalism and it was a blast like always which made me leave the class with a smile.

i was smiling all the way to ancient world history until i got pushed and shoved through the birth canal.

i finally got into class and sat down then attwood split us into groups and we read stories from the epic of gilgamesh and summarized them. (i now know i know none of the stories from the book of mormon)

next was lunch! YAY! 

it was fun like it always is. met a kid named taylor gunther (lovely and attractive), talked with addy and morgan (very nice), and kissed miles farnsworths hand.

then i was off to drawing. 

the girl i usually sit by wasnt there today so i was by myself. 

and then a kid who doesnt speak english AT ALL transferred into my class. i felt so bad.. he didnt understand anything :(

then when class was over i stayed and talked with addy morgan and daniel for a while. it was very lovely.

then a group of idiot baseball players started saying some mean stuff about my friend. and guess what? i heard it. yeah like i was going to let them get away with it. 

so i marched right over and gave them i very stern talking to and if they do it again (which i am certain they wont) they know what is in store for them. idiots.

well that was my day i hope you enjoyed.

UNTIL I WAS FORCED TO LEAVE HER,

madeline louise

September 7th

    The Homecoming Dance is a formal or informal event, either at the school or an off-campus location. The venue is decorated, and either a disc jockey or band is hired to play music. In many ways, it is a fall prom. Homecoming dances could be informal as well just like standard school dances. At high schools, the homecoming dances are sometimes held in the high school gymnasium or outside in a large field.

i now understand the appeal of school dances. this definition did not help me reach my eureka but something else did. i would love, now, to tell you what that was. last night my dear friend texted me and said, 

"has (insert other friend's name here) been asked to the dance yet?"

"no. no she has not."

"do you know if she wants to go?"

"i am sure she would love to go. and i am sure she would be thrilled if you asked her."

"i hope so!!"

this said friend that was asking my other friend to homecoming was so ecstatic over the idea of just asking someone and going to a dance with a girl whom he likes hanging out with. Knowing that made me happy on the inside and it also made me appreciate the idea of school dances more than i did, which is impressive because i thought the idea of them was more stupid than politics math to a monkey! 

*light bulb* i have come to the realization that they are just a way to have fun with the people you like and enjoy spending time with!

HMM WELL THAT HAS OPENED MY EYES,

madeline louise

oh the many lessons i learn in one day..


1.) love is well.. lovely.



2.) i love messy hair not only on me but other people as well so i say to you.. embrace messy hair.



3.) i truly honestly enjoy dancing, and now you are thinking to yourself 'does she really know how to dance?' and in response to that i would say... NO. but if i were to rephrase that i would say.. i do enjoy looking ridiculous and rhythmically moving with the beat at the same time. :)


4.) i need to pay back addy for the coffee she purchased for me.



5.) and my final thing is.. be yourself all the time cause it usually results in very rewarding result. and if you do not believe me it is alright a few weeks ago i would not of believe myself either. but now and i say it with full confidence and bid that you follow me through my journey to find myself.




DO NOT FOLLOW THE CROWD; BE YOUR OWN CROWD,
madeline louise

welcome back.. to me :)

dear world,
have you noticed how you are not perfect? No? well i have.. maybe we can work on that? 
thank you,
madeline 


      so guess who has started high school? yes that would be all sophomores but who cares about all of them when i can tell you about my experience.
the first few days were awful, i mean indescribably awful. But somehow they seemed to have turned around a wee bit. I have made new friends, had fun in classes, and fallen in love.
oops! did i just say that out loud. yes, yes i did. and guess what.. it is TRUE! i have fallen head over heels in love. with who you may be asking? oh come on, like i am going to tell you! :)
let us just say he is sweet cute a total gentlemen and perfect :)
i have revealed to much already. so i think it is time for a new topic.
During my sophomore year i have made many goals to myself. one of them being to write more on my blog. which i intend to do so you should pay more attention because some posts and going to be very witty and clever and some of them and going to be long and dragged out but i hope you enjoy them all.


now to move on to my last subject...
i have some AMAZING new friends and without them i would be wrapped up in a straight jacket in a loonie bin of some sorts.
so with that being said i would like to acknowledge morgan nelson, addy baird, daniel allenbach, jackson aubrey, and others.
I appreciate you so much because you all are amazing and i would be very disappointed in my high school years without you.
i love you all and hope you love me too :)


NEXT TIME I'LL BE BRAVER I'LL BE MY OWN SAVIOR,
madeline louise