to be flawed.

for the past five years i have believed myself to be flawed. flawed in ways, at first, i could not find but as i grew older and more observant, i found them hiding and lurking waiting for the perfect time to strike me down. until last year they were doing well at hiding, but last year my flaws attacked me both emotionally and physically. but now i am coming to terms with my flaws and realizing that those were only my flaws because people tortured me until i myself believed they were my flaws. But now i know they are just what makes me different than everyone else here and knowing that i am different keeps me going. 
1. i swear
2. i was raised up under a different mind set
3. i am not afraid to speak my mind
and last but certainly not least 5. i am NOT scared of the real world
Sometimes knowing this about myself scares me and makes me do things that i regret the next day or eventually regret or sometimes do things that are helpful but i want to teach myself that just because one has a different set of rules and beliefs that does not mean they are an outcast to their friends, peers, or their loved ones even if they think you are wrong.


DON'T BE AFRAID TO TEACH YOURSELF,
madeline louise

I am scared.

I am scared. 
I am not scared of death
I am not scared of being robbed
I am not scared of being taken 
I am not scared of what i have yet to find
and I am not scared to fall. 
but I am scared.
I am scared of myself. 
look in my eyes and through my heart and don't be afraid to see what I see.
open your eyes see what I see and feel what I feel. 
feel the pain on my wrists 
and the stinging of my eyes
and the tiredness of my soul. 
then think to yourself.. 
what are you scared of?

SINCERELY,
madeline louise

words..? no.

i wish this post i am about to give you had more meaning but today i have no words for you or myself. it has been a pretty wordless and off day for me. But please do enjoy the little i just gave you.

Sincerely,

well.. me